


Life Doesn't Discriminate

by WhatsYourNameMan



Series: I Got Y'All Knuckleheads [7]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Foster dad Herc, Heartbreak, M/M, PTSD, its cute guys okay, its just an angst kind of cute, parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-09-27 01:42:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9944795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhatsYourNameMan/pseuds/WhatsYourNameMan
Summary: It breaks Hercules's heart that he can't do more to protect his children from the cruel world we live in.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is roughly adapted from one of the first fics I wrote on my tumblr, but I actually think it works better like this. 
> 
> This is 1 or 2 years after Herc and Aaron get married so ages are as follows:  
> Laf- 17-18  
> John- 16-17  
> Alex- 15-16

Aaron and Hercules flopped down onto their bed, exhausted. They had finally gotten the kids into bed, and now it was time to compare notes. 

"Lafayette had a panic attack about his test tomorrow," Aaron reported. "He momentarily forgot how to speak English, but I calmed him down, and he's asleep." 

"John's boyfriend broke up with him," Herc said. "He was so upset I had to carry him to his bed. I don't know if he's asleep, but he's at least in bed."

"What about Alex?"

Herc looked over at his husband. "I thought you had Alex tonight."

Aaron swore. "We forgot about Alex." 

The two men groaned as they sat up. They made their way to their youngest son's room to find him pacing around, muttering to himself. 

"Alex, kiddo," Herc said softly, "it's time to go to bed." 

Alex looked up at them with a pained, fearful look in his eyes. "I can't," he whispered. 

"Why not?" Herc asked, taking the boy by the arm and guiding him to sit on the bed. Aaron sat on the other side of Alex so he was sandwiched between his two fathers. 

Alex studied his lap. "I've been having the nightmares again. Every time I close my eyes I'm back in St. Croix." He looked at Herc with pleading eyes. "I can't go back there, Herc. I can't go back to the hurricane. And it's not just Mama that's dying anymore, in the dream. It's John and Laf and both of you and I don't ever want to see that."

He buried his face in Herc's chest, as if trying to convince himself that the man was real. Aaron wrapped his arms around them. 

"Alex, look at me," Herc said. The boy pulled back and Herc wiped a tear from his cheek. "Look, Aaron and I aren't going anywhere. We're here, and we're safe."

"Laf and John too," Aaron added. "All four of us will always be here for you." 

"I know," Alex said, his voice strangled. "I believe you. But my stupid brain keeps making me watch you die." 

"Did you take your anxiety meds?" Herc asked. "They might help."

"I don't know," Alex said quietly. "I can't remember." 

"We'll go check," Aaron said. "Get into your pajamas and brush your teeth." 

Alex nodded and made his way to the bathroom while Herc followed Aaron to the kitchen. Aaron opened their medicine cabinet and pulled down Alex's pill organizer. It was sectioned off by days of the week. Aaron looked inside to see it full of pills. 

"He hasn't taken any of his medicines all week," he sighed. 

Herc rubbed at his face and sat down at the breakfast bar. 

"It just pisses me off," he said. 

Aaron looked at him, confused. "That he didn't take his pills? Herc, you know his mind is all over the place." 

"No, not that." Herc waved a hand dismissively. "It pisses me off that our kids are suffering and I can't do anything about it." 

Aaron sat down next to his husband and waited for him to continue. Herc complied. 

"Those kids are the best. They're the lights of my life. They deserve all the happiness in the world, but instead they got the crappiest lots in life. They lost their families, they got thrown out of foster homes, they were abused. And I can finally give them a home, and a family, and all the love they deserve, but I still can't make them as happy as they should be. I can't stop Laf's anxiety attacks, or take away Alex's PTSD, or protect John from getting his heart broken. It kills me, Aaron." 

"Life doesn't discriminate," Aaron said a bit emptily, as if it was something he had repeated to himself over and over again, "between the sinners and the saints. It takes and it takes and it takes." He put his hand on Herc's. "But we keep living anyway."

"That's beautiful," Herc said. "Did you come up with that?" 

Aaron nodded. "I lost my parents within year of each other and moved in with my grandparents, who died within another year. I lived with a friend of my parents, and then my uncle. It was never easy. I told myself that to keep myself alive. It was my way of reassuring myself that just because I had a horrible life it didn't mean I was a horrible person, or deserved it in some way." 

"Wow," Herc breathed. "Aaron, I...had no idea..." 

"We can't stop bad things from happening to our kids," Aaron said with certainty. "The only thing we can do is make sure they don't have to deal with the bad things alone."

"I just wish I could do more," Herc whispered. 

"I know darling. I do too." Aaron gave Herc a gentle kiss. "Come on, we have to give a very anxious little ball of energy his medicine." 

They went back to Alex's room with his pills and a glass of water. They found the boy collapsed on top of his bed in a fitful sleep. He must have worried himself to the point of exhaustion. 

Herc gently shook him awake. He looked up at his father with bleary eyes. 

"Can you take your medicine for us, kiddo?" Herc asked softly. 

Alex nodded and reached his hand out for the pills. He took them all at once, then collapsed back into the unrestful sleep. Aaron and Herc sat with him until his twitching and jerking stopped, then went to check on the other boys. 

Laf was in a deep, peaceful sleep. His face was wet with tears, but they seemed to be quickly drying. Herc and Aaron each gave him a kiss on the forehead and exchanged a glance of adoration with each other. 

In the next room, John was still awake, staring at the ceiling. His tears hadn't stopped. 

"I loved him, Herc," he whispered as his father sat down on the edge of his bed. 

"I know kiddo," Herc said, stroking his curls. This had been John's first really serious boyfriend, and he was really torn up about it. "It'll be okay, though. I know it doesn't seem like it, but something good will come of this. Can you try to get some sleep for me?"

"Okay," John croaked. 

Herc kissed his forehead. "I love you." 

"I love you too."

A few minutes later, Aaron and Herc were back in bed. Aaron turned onto his side to face Herc and laced his fingers through his husband's. 

"They're going to be okay," Aaron said. "They're strong kids." 

"I know," Herc said, placing a kiss on Aaron's nose. "I know."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm justsmilingmoreandtalkingless on tumblr if y'all want to come talk about Hamilton and read my other stuff. I do take requests!


End file.
